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Making Disciples Memoir

Cry out

This past week, I sit numb. Shaken. Shocked by sheer brutality.

And cry out for the ones who can’t breathe. 

Weep for those with necks slammed against asphalt under the knee of racism. Relentless, insidious racism. Again and again.

The snake slithers. Just beneath the surface of society. Often hidden in the dark. Feeding pride and arrogance. Fear. Prejudice. 

Injustice.

Minneapolis, May 2020. Photo by Josh Hild, Unsplash photos.

Kindred spirits

I reach out to my friend. We met in Birmingham, Alabama. Fall of 2017. And immediately sensed a kindred spirit. Sisters by faith. Now we’re living on opposite sides of the country. But keep in touch. And pray for each other. 

So I’m checking on her. And expressing my grief over the racism and hatred. Praying for this evil to be exposed. Uprooted. Rendered powerless. 

Deep hurt

My friend responds. Pouring out the long history of what she and her family have suffered. Deep hurt they’ve endured. Because of their race. 

Story after story. Generation after generation. Racial slurs. Visual threats. Vandalized property.

Now they train their children from a young age to respond carefully in certain situations. To record what’s happening. To hopefully save lives. Actions necessary simply because of the color of their skin. 

In the “land of the free.”

Weep

She watches the riots. The fires. Crying. Remembering Watts. 1965. The neighborhood where her family shopped. The stores that were destroyed. Never rebuilt.

“Thank you for reaching out. This is the first for me in my 67 years….”

No one ever asked. I never asked.

I weep. 

Offensive way

When I go for a walk and cry out for wisdom, He reminds me where any change begins. The verses come from a psalm often quoted to highlight the sanctity of life. A passage about our ever-present God who knows us intimately and has our days written in His book. 

“Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns.
See if there is any offensive way in me;
lead me in the everlasting way.”
Psalm 139:23-24

Any offensive way. Is there any offensive way hidden in me? I must ask the question. And repent of what He brings to light.

Only then can I wholeheartedly pray for change in our churches, in our country. On earth as it is in heaven.

Sickness

The sickness that permeates our world is sin. Sin that takes up residence in human hearts. And launches racism, hatred, violence, destruction.

And no legislation can change a heart. No law can transform a mindset. Only God can do that. 

Only the gospel of Jesus Christ can do that.

So we listen. And weep. We repent and pray. We reach out and speak the gospel.

We cry out

We cry out to You, Father.
Our righteous Judge and 
tender Shepherd.
You see.
You know.
You hold Your lambs
next to Your heart.

We plead for justice. 
Mercy.  
We ask
for Your light
to expose the lie.
Reveal the unholy. 
Bring many to repentance.
Teach us Your ways
that we may walk in Your Truth.
Give us undivided hearts
that we may fear Your Name
and wholeheartedly proclaim the gospel.

In the mighty name of Jesus,
Amen.

What about you?

Are you listening? Asking Him to search your heart for any hidden sin or prejudice? Are you praying for the lie to be exposed? Are you reaching out to the hurting? Speaking the truth of the gospel? Let’s encourage one another to walk as children of light.

“Let no one deceive you with empty arguments,
for God’s wrath is coming on the disobedient because of these things. Therefore, do not become their partners.
For you were once darkness,
but now you are light in the Lord.
Walk as children of light—
for the fruit of the light consists of
all goodness, righteousness, and truth—
testing what is pleasing to the Lord.
Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness,
but instead expose them.
For it is shameful even to mention
what is done by them in secret.
Everything exposed by the light is made visible,
for what makes everything visible is light.
Therefore it is said:
Get up, sleeper, and rise up from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
Ephesians 5:6-14

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10 replies on “Cry out”

Very well said! Our deepest feelings are sometimes hard to express without coming across as melodramatic. You stated my heart.

The overwhelming evil will not win but it certainly feels scary and huge right now.

Yes. I was encouraged by Psalm 89 today. “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; faithful love and truth go before You.”(v14ff) and the truth in v17 that He is our magnificent strength! Alleluia.

Thank you, Susan! Wonderfully said. Only undivided hearts set on Christ will unite and heal that which is so horribly broken.

Just before reading your convicting and steadying thoughts and insights here, I was reading Exodus 33 in preparation for my next virtual Bible study — and especially pondering verses 13 and 14.

“If You are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know You and continue to find favor with You. Remember that this nation is Your people.”
The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

These two verses are underlined as a reminder of the call to seek the LORD and to learn and practice that which pleases Him — and as an encouragement that He is with us and He alone truly can give us rest.

I wrote beside these two verses the date and the name of the person who taught me to treasure the truths in them — “Oct. 24, 1996, Glenn Ingouf.” I am so thankful for both of you and your love for the Lord and for teaching His Word! May we all heed His Word and seek to please Him, for He is worthy and we indeed are nothing but sin-sick without Him.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” ~ Hebrews 12:2-3

Thank you for sharing this, sister. So very encouraging! Those verses were deeply important to me too, during our first term. Yes, “let us fix our eyes on Jesus…” Blessings as you serve.

Bless you sister for sharing our hearts! Our daughter is working as a nurse in NYC and sees much more than I care to. HE ALONE is able to fix us! There is no other way!

I would love to hear from you!

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