Broken record pleading. Same old insecurity. Inadequacy.
Pride.
Doing a number on my thinking.
Fiery-dart target practice, feels like, somedays.
Age-old questions on repeat.
Fears
I’ve said before, “Here I am….”
But fears lurk in the recesses. And further into the journey, they make their appearance.
“Who am I…?”
“What if…?”
“Can you send someone else?”
In my much smaller assignment, I feel what you’re saying, Moses.
Broken record
You’d think sameness would be a dead giveaway. But here we are again.
So I speak the questions. Openly. Out loud.
In deliberate confession of broken record weakness.
Exposing earthen vessel dependency on fragile clay. Articulating old-self attempts to deny Your power.
Palms down
I turn my hands. Palms down. Fingers spread. Releasing what I’m holding onto—what holds onto me.
Dying to self and its insidious attempts to call the shots.
This is no one-and-done.
Jesus knows the ongoing issues. Thus, Luke 9:23. And the call to deny self, take up the cross daily, and follow.
Surrender is a lifetime of daily.
Palms up
My hands turn. Palms up. Open to hear. Receive.
My eyes lift to Jesus, Faithful and True. He is the Way and the Truth. He is my Life.
Here I am. I’m Yours.
Fill this earthen vessel with Your Spirit.
Use me for Your glory.
Death and Life
“6 For God who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of God’s glory in the face of Jesus Christ. 7 Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us….
10 We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be displayed in our body.
11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’s sake, so that Jesus’s life may also be displayed in our mortal flesh.”
2 Corinthians 4:6-7, 10-11
What about you?
Do you ever sound like a broken record? How do you remember surrender?
Related posts
What if? – Emptied – Follow Me – Roots – Why? – Trust in the Lord –
Exodus 3-4 – Luke 9:23 – Ephesians 5:15-20 – 2 Corinthians 4 –
6 replies on “Broken record”
I have a drawing of a spiral staircase that reminds me that I come back to the same questions/issues at different times – it is SO helpful to me to have a visual image!
I love that—a visual image. What a way to remember and offer clarity.
And you’re higher up on the staircase than before. God is at work in us for his glory and our good!
Amen!
I wonder, sometimes, how God can remain so patient with me, when I don’t seem to learn the lessons he brings my way. The only good thing is now at this age of life, I recognize things quicker than before, so that must be a good thing! Thankful for the work of the Spirit in prodding my heart to confess up sooner than later.
Yes, He is so kind to us! Thankful that He remains faithful, even when I’m slow to learn His ways.