Susan LaffertyDeathly pale in light of the vision. No strength.
Alone and overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion, Daniel drops. Face to the ground.
Powerless. Speechless. Unable to breathe.
And the Lord responds to His servant. With tenderness and strength.
Only one thing teaches me God’s will.
And gets me out of my own preconceived ideas. About what I can and cannot do. Or who I am. Where I need to be.
Only one practice. One way of living and breathing. Teaching me His greater purpose and meaningful plan.
Daily abiding in the Vine, Christ Jesus.
Learning this necessary truth takes time and effort. Surrender.
But sooner or later, I clearly see.
Only He is the root and sustainer. The source of true life and fruitfulness.
Loss.
The memory comes back. Distinct. Clear. From 1972. One hot, humid afternoon in Kediri, Indonesia.
I’m just arriving at our home. After being away for high school a couple of months. In Jakarta.
Standing outside. Reaching for the handle of the screen door. And suddenly a subconscious map surfaces. One I never knew was there.
A map of presence. Home and those who belong in it.
Without warning, the realization of deep loss hits. Full force. There’s an empty space on that map.
The place where my sister Ann has always been.
Grief. Tangible.
