Prodigal redeemed

On July 16, 2015, our prodigal’s story changed. Today is the anniversary of that day. And below, in his own words, our son tells his story. Many people across the world prayed for him over several years. Praying for more than they knew at the time. To them we say: Thank you. Here is the answer to those prayers.

Jonathan’s story

What I am about to share with you is a story of grace, forgiveness, and restoration. 

I grew up in five different countries: Pakistan, Indonesia, Singapore, India, and Malaysia. Living overseas was so much fun! I ate good food, met cool people, and I liked to travel. I felt at home in Asia. I have a great family as well: two loving parents and two great sisters.

However, I started to develop a lot of fear and anxiety as a kid. In hindsight, a large part of it was because of all the times I had to move to different locations and meet new friends. Rather than sharing these uncomfortable feelings of anxiety, I hid it from my parents. I didn’t want them to know. 

Anxiety and deception

My way of coping with this anxiety was by lying, oftentimes about being sick. Because I was living in foreign countries, nobody was very surprised by this. “Unknown viruses” were common in those places. I would stay home a couple days here and there, but eventually my lies grew into bigger incidents. 

One day when I was 8 and living in Indonesia, I started screaming on the way home from school, saying I had a severe headache. I screamed for six hours and was taken to the emergency room at a local hospital. The next day I was medically evacuated to Singapore. The doctors there said that they suspected bacterial meningitis, but because I’d been given antibiotics starting the day before, there was not a definitive diagnosis. I missed two and a half weeks of school. 

When I was 11 and living in Singapore, I got a concussion playing basketball. When the doctor said I could go back to school, I pretended to have bad migraines and managed to stay home for a month because I was “having trouble” reading and doing math problems. They thought this was related to the concussion. 

I lived in Alabama for my eighth-grade year and went to public school for the first time. I was exposed to a whole other world of sin and brokenness that I didn’t know existed. This added to my anxiety and fear.

After my eighth-grade year, both my sisters were off in college and I was the only child at home. We had just moved to India, and I was tired of all the change. I had started going to an international school there, and even though I had met several good friends, I really just wanted to stay home and keep to myself.

When I was 14 and in ninth grade, I made up a bunch of symptoms and stayed home from school. My mom took me to the doctor after a couple of days, and the symptoms I made up matched those of a mosquito-borne virus called Chikungunya. Chikungunya affects the joints, so I pretended like I had trouble moving and needed to lie down all the time. I watched movies sometimes all day for a couple months during my “recovery.”

Eventually the doctors said I could go back to school, but I wanted to keep staying home, so I trained myself to throw up after every meal. This led to true health problems. The medical team of my dad’s organization suggested we seek better medical treatment in Thailand. Eventually my mom and I traveled back to the States to seek medical help. My dad was able to join us a few weeks later. When I “stabilized” we went back to India.

The next summer I was put in the hospital for tests. And tested positive for amoebic dysentery, h-pylori and TB (on the Quantiferon Gold test). The doctor said I had “sludge” in my gall bladder. At that point I was 6’4” and weighed 135 lbs. Again the medical team said we should try to seek better medical treatment. 

My house church gathered to pray for me the night before we flew to Singapore. In Singapore all the same tests were run. There was no amoeba. No TB. No sludge in my liver. They treated me for h-pylori. 

No escape

During this time, I had become addicted to pornography, and cheated my way through my 9th and 10th grade year in high school. I had developed severe social anxiety. I was also very angry and took it out on my parents. They called me out on it but thought I was angry about being sick, so they listened and put up with a lot. 

Eventually the medical team said that my health problems might be due to environmental issues, so they recommended we move out of India. India was the hub of where my dad worked, but because of me and my lies, we had to move out of India and into Malaysia. 

I homeschooled for a year in Malaysia and tried to go back to normal life by getting out and meeting people, but I was haunted by my past. Almost everyone I met who knew my family would ask me about my sickness and if I was alright. 

I couldn’t escape the fear, the addiction, the loneliness, and the depression.

I thought I would find satisfaction in other things, such as entertainment, but I didn’t. I didn’t know where to turn, so I just cried out to God for help. There wasn’t an immediate response, but in the summer of 2015, my help came.

Summer in Arizona

We went to visit family in the United States over the summer. This was three years after I initially lied about sickness in India. I was still hiding my past.

I heard a sermon about integrity, and the pastor talked about being the same person in private as you are in public. He talked about the freedom that comes from living with integrity. I was not living that at all, I was living a double life. 

I wanted to have deeper friendships, but my lies held me back. I was lonely. 

Then I found out a family member of mine had gone down a dark path of drugs, alcohol, and gambling. He lied and stole to get what he wanted. When I asked my mom how he turned out that way, she said it probably started with one lie, then he told another and another. Until one day he was living a lie.

I was scared that I would turn out the same way. I started reading my Bible and asking my dad to teach me a discipleship study he was doing. I felt like I was just discovering who Jesus was. I realized I was dead in my sin, and in need of new life. Only Jesus could offer me this new life! I had a tremendous joy and peace come over me that I had never felt before as I read my Bible. However, I knew in order to start following God, I needed to confess everything to my parents. 

I tried to act as if everything was back to normal, but I went back to my same bad habits. It took me a month of wrestling with the idea of confessing and surrendering to God before I actually took my first steps. 

Confession

My mom and I were in Thailand, and my dad was in India. My dad was flying to Thailand the next day, and I was planning to write out a long confession and present it to them. 

I was terrified. I kept thinking that my parents were going to disown me, that they wouldn’t love me anymore, that they would kick me out of the house. I was thinking,“Where will I go?” 

Despite all of this, I knew that this was what I needed to do. So the day before my dad got back, I became incredibly nervous about sharing. My mom noticed that something was wrong, and she asked me if everything was okay. 

I didn’t know what to say, so I kept silent. She kept asking and started to pray over me. Tears started streaming down my face. All of these thoughts started rushing through my mind telling me not to share, to keep silent. I didn’t know what to do. 

Then I broke down. I told Mom, “I lied about being sick.” I waited in silence, shocked at hearing my own voice say these words that I thought I would take to the grave. I felt utterly broken. I looked at my mom, and she looked back at me. Then she opened her mouth, and the first words that came out of her mouth were, “I forgive you.” 

I was completely shocked and taken aback by her words. In my mind, I thought, “Maybe she didn’t grasp the full weight of what I just said.” But she did. Despite all of my lies, she extended grace and forgiveness to me. I was overwhelmed. This weight that had been on my shoulders almost my entire life was released! I felt lighter! I was experiencing freedom. 

Believing the gospel

My mom went on to explain the gospel to me, and this time it all clicked for me. This was grace. The sin that I committed was the sin Jesus died for. He took all of these years of lying to my parents on himself so that I could experience new life! I went to bed worshipping that night, knowing that this unconfessed sin was no longer holding me back from following Jesus. 

The next day my dad got back, and a healthy amount of nervousness set in again. I didn’t want to have to go through the same emotional toll that I went through with my mom. When my dad walked through the gate, I walked out to meet him. I told him I needed to talk to him, and I sat him down and confessed everything to him. 

He sat there, slightly shocked at this odd welcome home party, but the first words out of his mouth were, “Praise the Lord!!” And he extended to me the same grace and forgiveness that my mom showed me. This forgiveness was not expected, but this shows the kind of love and forgiveness my parents had for me this whole time!

Following Jesus

It was July 16, 2015, when I confessed to my mom. That means that today marks my fourth year of following Jesus. 

Without a doubt, these have been the four most exciting years of my life. Following Jesus is hard, but it is incredibly fun at times and so satisfying. I’ve been on the mountaintops and in the valleys of my faith, and God has been enough through it all. Freedom is found only in Jesus.

I hope in sharing my story it gives you hope and increases your faith for what God can do in your own life and in your loved ones’ lives. Jesus took a lonely kid who lied and cheated and ran for seventeen years of his life, and he showed him he has a Family. 

I’m no longer an orphan. I’m a child of God. 

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