Begin to know Him now

I kept a diary during my high school years. Daily inscriptions of great importance. “Went to the store and bought deodorant.”  “My hair was so oily today at church.” “Studied Chemistry all afternoon.”  A few details of my hopes and dreams and struggles spilled out on paper.  But for the most part, I reported activities…or hair conditions. 

Turning point

Recently I found a few brief sentences recording a significant life-changing experience my senior year. In 1975-76 we were on furlough in Shreveport, Louisiana, and our family joined Highland Baptist Church.  In September, we attended revival services there, led by Jack Taylor and Ron Dunn.

 On the second night, I wrote in my diary, “Bertha Smith spoke. Then Jack Taylor did. He told us to list our sins, estrangements, sinful drives and present them to the Lord. Thus we can recognize them and know what we’re asking forgiveness for.” 

That evening was a turning point in my life. Bertha Smith spoke the truth plainly (as she was known to do). God is holy. We are sinful. Sin is sin. In order to be a holy vessel that God can fully use, she said, we needed to list our sins and confess all of them—then receive His forgiveness and ask Him to fill us with His Spirit. Give Him full control.

Whole and holy

My eyes were opened. The Lord revealed that I was living my life as though the spiritual part was something separate from everything else. Compartmentalizing it into those times I prayed, or read the Bible, or went to church.   

The Lord hadn’t saved me so He could hang out in a separate category of my life. The seal of the Holy Spirit on my heart when I repented and believed was not meant to be some badge for inspection. He wanted to reign in my life.  Over all of it. This meant full surrender. Holiness.

Step by step

He designed us for a moment by moment walk with Him. I was thirsty for this intimate relationship with Him—and had not realized it. 

I asked Him to reveal my sin—anything that might hinder me from being fully His vessel. Then made a list and confessed each one. After confession, I asked the Holy Spirit to fill me.

Simple steps. But they forever changed my relationship with the Lord.

To know Him

I’m still learning and growing in this adventure of abiding in Christ.  Today, more than ever, I want to know Him. His Word. His ways. 

I want others to know Him too. 

When I’ve made mistakes and strayed off the path, it hasn’t been the conviction of sin that’s caught my attention. It’s been a sense of deep loss. I’ve missed the close fellowship with the Lord. The sweet taste of His Word. The freedom to run in the path of obedience.   

I cannot do this life without Him—by the filling, the equipping, the empowering of the Holy Spirit.

Finish never

In 1975 I bought “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers.  That small red hardbound copy has traveled with me through the years and sits on my bookshelf today. There’s a phrase in the May 27^th entry I underlined then and continue to repeat to others:

 “Begin to know Him now, and finish never.”

There’s no diary of activities anymore, but I do keep a journal. It details my journey with Him. What I’m learning in the Word day by day. Heart cries of praise. Confessions to my Savior. Thanksgiving for how He’s working here and all around the world. Requests that are on my heart and mind. 

Praise God for this incredible gift of knowing Him now and for eternity.

Paul said it well

“But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ. More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of him I have suffered the loss of all things and consider them as dung, so that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own from the law, but one that is through faith in Christ—the righteousness from God based on faith. My goal is to know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, being conformed to his death, assuming that I will somehow reach the resurrection from among the dead. Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:7-12

What about you?

Have you ever tried to compartmentalize your life in the Lord?  Is there any unconfessed sin that lingers in your life today? Are you fully surrendered to Him? 

Related posts: Living water, Dust, “Teach me Your way, Lord”, Hidden treasure