When love runs out

When love runs out? I’ve been there. 

And life lessons confirm my weakness. Insufficiency. To love in my own strength.

But He faithfully leads me to the truth.

My love runs out. His never does.

One moment

One particular moment stands out.

I’m lying on a hospital bed. Reading a book. 

It’s after the birth of our second child. Via c-section. The doctor insists I must stay a week.

My friend Linda stays one of those nights. In case I need something. Nursing care differs in that culture, so a friend or relative is expected to stay. 

She’s tucked in on the narrow adjacent couch. Baby is sound asleep in a small bed at the foot of mine. 

Sacrificial love

The book I’m reading is a biography about a woman whose reputation as a servant of the Lord precedes her. She and her husband serve in another part of South Asia at the time. And have for many years. 

From the beginning of the book, her love for the people of that country, is stirring. Sacrificial. 

Not just because the author states it. No, the evidence oozes out of every story. 

Chapter after chapter. Encounter after encounter.

I don’t love

I think about my own stories. Living in a different yet similar part of the world.

And somewhere in the middle of the book, I say, “Hey Linda?”

“Yes?” 

“I hate to tell you this. But I don’t love the people of this country like Gloria loves the people of that country.” 

I’m joking. Kind of. And we laugh a bit. 

But the truth is, we’ve both had experiences that have shaken us. Witnessed ill treatment of women. Heard personal stories of more.

And endured encounters that put our minds on edge as we go about our days.

My love runs out

That little confession I say out loud is important. Half-joking, but mostly real. 

It sticks out in my mind. A turning point of clarity.

My love runs out. It’s never enough.

And not just for the people we’ve come to serve. But for anyone. 

Certainly, for enemies. 

Dry in the desert

If I determine to love and it’s in my own strength? I’ll be dead in the water. Or dry in the desert.

Pick your metaphor.

One day I’m reading Edges of His Ways. The November 28^th entry. And Amy Carmichael mentors me through her writing. 

She speaks the true.

Poochiam

“In Tamil we have a polite word, which tells someone who asks for something, that we have nothing to give; we have run short of it—Poochiam.

“One day, I felt like saying Poochiam about love, I had run short of it.

“I was in the Forest, and I had just read a letter which was hard to answer lovingly. I was sitting by the Pool at the time, and presently began to watch the water flow down through the deep channel worn in the smooth rocks above it.

“There was always inflow, so there was always outflow. Never for one minute did the water cease to flow in, and so never for one moment did it cease to flow out; and I knew, of course, that the water that flowed out was the water that flowed in. The hollow that we call The Pool had no water of its own, and yet all the year round there was an overflow.

“‘God hath not give you the Spirit of fear…. but of love.’ If love flows in, love will flow out. Let love flow in. 

“That was the word of the pool. There is no need for any of us to run short of love. We need never say Poochiam.” 

(Edges of His Ways: Selections for Daily Reading by Amy Carmichael, SPCK 1955, p. 172–2 Timothy 1:7)

Fruit of the Spirit

“Be filled with the Spirit,” Paul writes. An earthen vessel fully surrendered to His control bears the fruit of His Spirit. “Love, joy, peace….” And what’s flowing in unhindered, will be what flows out to those we meet.

By the way, after that confession in the hospital? There was eventual surrender. Releasing my lack of love to Him. 

And the Lord poured out His love for the people of that land. In me. 

In fact, it was hard to leave them when He moved us on to the next place of service. Six years later. 

Praise God. He continues teaching us His ways. 

Praise God. His love never runs out.

What about you?

Have you ever said “Poochiam”? How has the Lord reminded you to quit relying on your own strength?

Related posts

Living water – Such as it is – True love – Take up His yoke – Love your neighbor – daily abiding – 

Ephesians 5:15-21 – Galatians 5:22-25 – Philippians 2:1-13 – 2 Timothy 1:6-8 –