Wilderness

Wilderness. When the voice of the Beloved is silent. And the Word—so full of rivers and streams—feels like desert. 

I remember thirst. And crying out. In a dark night of the soul. Longing for His instruction.

In the mornings, I waited. Asking. 

Are You there? Can You hear me?

Prayer on repeat

One day, I was at my desk again. Bible open. Going through the motions. 

That day’s Psalm included a prayer. One that had marked my entry into this South Asian country where we were living. 

Interesting.

“Teach me Your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in Your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear Your name.”
Psalm 86:11 NIV

The words were familiar now. On repeat since the first month of our sojourn. Two years before.

Teach me Your way

Encounters and experiences, in that place of the unfamiliar, shook and shaped my thoughts. Taking me back again and again to the psalmist’s words.

Teach me Your way in the desert. In the hard terrain of language learning. Maneuvering through culture. In a place where women stay behind walls.

Teach me Your way in the wilderness of silence. When I feel empty. 

Teach me Your way in the dark.

Heart cry

This time as I moved on down the page, another verse clarified a cry of my heart.

“Give me a sign of Your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for You, O Lord, have helped me
and comforted me.”
Psalm 86:17 NIV

And I prayed. 

Lord, please give me a sign of Your goodness in the presence of my enemies. Those enemies of despair and doubt. Dryness. Uselessness. 

In this place where barriers rise thick and high. And the enemy of souls holds so many in captivity.

A sign of His goodness

Less than two weeks later, I saw it. A sign of His goodness. 

No loud fanfare. No sudden flood. Just a simple, meandering stream. 

In the desert.

A young woman came to our door. Wanting to study His Word. Hungry to know.

And rejoicing, I knew. This was the work of His hand. 

Truth of the ages

Years later, I’m in a familiar passage of Deuteronomy. I’ve read the words here so many times over the decades. 

But this time, I see. 

And hear the truth of the ages that figures in my own walk through wilderness with Him.

Moses talks to the people of God. And to me.

“Remember that the Lord your God
led you on the entire journey… in the wilderness,
so that He might humble you and test you
to know what was in your heart,
whether or not you would keep His commands.
He humbled you by letting you go hungry,
then He gave you manna to eat…
so that you might learn
that man does not live on bread alone
but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”
Deuteronomy 8:2-3 CSB

Wilderness learning

The wilderness. Humbling. Testing me.

The scarcity. Teaching me to hunger for His Word. For Him. 

The obstacles. Instructing me to seek His way in the onslaught of the enemy.

He is enough

And I know now. Deeply. Without reservation. No matter the landscape of this journey. No matter the darkness of the night. 

His Word is true. 

He is all. All that I need. No matter what.

Yes, He is enough.

What about you?

Have you experienced the humbling and testing of a wilderness? What is your heart cry? When did you recognize that He is enough?

Related posts

Place – Missing beauty – Walking, we wait – “Let the little children…” – Keep singing – Habit – Wells along the way – Travelers – He is enough – Wordless – Teach me Your way –